Pg. 1: I am a man of words, a life of jurisprudence. Words are my financier, buying time to wander. Tracking. The silence is heavy. Today it’s all anxiety.
Pg. 2: I thought I believe in law. I thought I am just. We all live with delusions that tangle our perception. Everybody comes in contact with law in one way or another. Some master it. Some are trampled. I preside over its proceedings.
Pg. 3: I can’t be involved too deeply, but I am in every single case. It’s so difficult. Everything takes time, everyone is distraught, everyone wants their way. I iron it out. I show compassion. Sometimes it’s not possible, my job is to sign off on
Pg. 4: A Stoic knows how to sublimate, to endure in silence. I endure with others. We suffer together. We laugh. We drink. We never tell each other anything to bring us down. We cry silently. It works and it doesn’t.
Pg. 5: Raised in a house of discipline, I thought I did everything right. Father thought I never did anything the right way. He was drafted against his will and later made me enlist. I wanted his approval, as an equal. I mastered the age of father a
Pg. 6: A new world usurps and plows under the old. I am sentimental. I am obsolete. I howl and strum my guitar at local bars with my band on weekends. Singing songs memorized from my youth, a time where I fit in. I shut my eyes, the dead animate. I
Pg. 7: My wife is my best friend. She knows me better than anyone. We go out nightly to local taverns. She knows how I need to be around people, to be stimulated by their energy. We are perfectly at home in the heartland of farming rural America.
Pg. 8: My whole life, in all practicality there has only been one political party in my rural area. All my friends and family are affiliated. I came to believe it was a party of values and law, protecting those I love. Now my political party is cont
Pg. 9: I usually only go hunting with friends. I don’t like to be alone. This trip is different. I’m yards away from of the buck I’ve stalked all week. Bringing home meat is a simple possibility. I raise my rifle. Law is complicated. Although my min
Pg. 10: I trekked on for another day before turning back. I’ll take some shit for returning from my hunting trip empty handed. It doesn’t matter. The days and nights spent outside here remind me that I’m flesh. Weak flesh at that. Closer to the end
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